Interpersonal Relationships is about building and maintaining relationships that are characterised by trust, warmth and mutual support. In leadership and at work more broadly, this affects how easily you build rapport, how safe others feel with you, and how strong your working relationships become over time.
People with stronger interpersonal relationships tend to build trust more quickly, maintain connection more easily and create a stronger sense of support around them. If this is an area you want to develop, the good news is that relationship strength is not fixed — it can be built through more intentional habits, better listening and greater consistency.
1. Invest in one important relationship
Choose one important working relationship and give it more attention over the next month. Schedule a proper check-in, ask better questions and focus on understanding what matters to the other person.
Why it helps: Strong relationships are built through consistent attention, not just good intentions.
- Tool: A simple relationship map. List your key stakeholders and rate each relationship from 1–10 for trust, openness and ease of communication.
- Further reading: How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.
- Podcast: The Look & Sound of Leadership – episodes on trust and connection.
- Video / TED: Brené Brown on trust and connection.
2. Build trust through consistency
Do what you say you will do. Follow through on promises, be clear when something changes and avoid overcommitting.
Why it helps: Trust grows when people experience you as reliable and steady.
- Tool: Keep a “commitments list” for one week and review whether you followed through on each promise.
- Further reading: The Speed of Trust by Stephen M. R. Covey.
- Podcast: Coaching for Leaders – episodes on trust-building.
- Video / TED: Simon Sinek on trust and cooperation.
3. Check in without an agenda
Make contact with people when you do not need anything from them. Ask how they are, what is going well and what support they need.
Why it helps: Relationships deepen when people feel valued as people, not just as resources.
- Tool: Add one relationship-focused check-in to your calendar each week.
- Further reading: Radical Candor by Kim Scott.
- Podcast: HBR IdeaCast – episodes on connection and leadership.
- Video / TED: Amy Edmondson on creating better human connection at work.
4. Listen to understand
In your next few conversations, concentrate on listening fully before giving your own view. Summarise what you heard and check that you understood properly.
Why it helps: Feeling heard is one of the strongest foundations of trust and connection.
Tool: Use the phrase: “What I’m hearing is…” before responding.
Further reading: Just Listen by Mark Goulston.
Podcast: The Knowledge Project – episodes on communication and listening.
Video / TED: Celeste Headlee – 10 Ways to Have a Better Conversation.
5. Show warmth when it matters
When someone is frustrated, under pressure or disappointed, acknowledge their experience before moving into advice or action.
Why it helps: Relationships become stronger when people feel understood as well as supported.
- Tool: Practise naming emotion before problem-solving, for example: “That sounds frustrating” or “I can see that mattered to you.”
- Further reading: Dare to Lead by Brené Brown.
- Podcast: Unlocking Us with Brené Brown.
- Video / TED: Brené Brown on empathy.
6. Repair tension early
If a relationship feels strained, address it sooner rather than later. Start with curiosity rather than blame and focus on what would help the relationship work better.
Why it helps: Healthy relationships are not free from tension — they are better at repair.
- Tool: Use three prompts: What happened? What impact did it have? What would help now?
- Further reading: Crucial Conversations by Patterson, Grenny, McMillan and Switzler.
- Podcast: WorkLife with Adam Grant – episodes on difficult conversations.
- Video / TED: Margaret Heffernan on disagreement and honest conversation.
7. Balance task and relationship
Notice whether you focus so much on delivery that relationship quality gets pushed into the background. Ask yourself whether your drive for results is strengthening relationships or wearing them down.
Why it helps: Strong relationships support performance; they are not separate from it.
- Tool: At the end of the week, ask: “Did I move the work forward and strengthen the relationship?”
- Further reading: Multipliers by Liz Wiseman.
- Podcast: The Craig Groeschel Leadership Podcast – episodes on leading people well.
- Video / TED: General leadership talks on balancing performance and people.
8. Appreciate people more specifically
Notice effort, support and contribution, and say so in a clear and genuine way. Make your appreciation specific rather than vague.
Why it helps: Appreciation helps people feel seen, and feeling seen strengthens connection.
- Tool: Use this structure: “I appreciated ___ because it helped ___.”
- Further reading: The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace by Gary Chapman and Paul White.
- Podcast: Lead to Win – episodes on encouragement and leadership.
- Video / TED: Shawn Achor on positive leadership.
9. Ask how it feels to work with you
Ask a trusted colleague or team member what helps them work well with you and what would make the relationship easier or stronger.
Why it helps: Relationship quality depends on impact, not just intention.
- Tool: Ask two questions: “What should I keep doing?” and “What would improve our working relationship?”
- Further reading: Thanks for the Feedback by Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen.
- Podcast: Coaching Real Leaders – episodes on receiving feedback well.
- Video / TED: Sheila Heen on feedback and growth.
10. Reflect on your relationships weekly
Set aside ten minutes at the end of each week to review which relationships you strengthened, which you neglected and where you need to reconnect.
Why it helps: Relationships improve when they become part of your leadership practice, not an afterthought.
- Tool: Weekly reflection prompts:
Which relationship did I strengthen this week?
Where did I miss an opportunity to connect?Where do I need to repair or re-engage?
- Further reading: Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves.
- Podcast: The One You Feed – episodes on habits and self-awareness.
- Video / TED: Reflective leadership and self-awareness talks.
Why this matters for leaders
Leaders with stronger Interpersonal Relationships often find it easier to build trust, create loyalty and maintain support over time. They are more likely to create an environment where people feel valued, understood and willing to contribute.
That matters because leadership is experienced through relationships. If people do not trust you, do not feel connected to you or do not believe you understand them, your influence is limited. If they do, your leadership lands more strongly.
A reflection question
Which one or two relationships would make the biggest difference to your effectiveness if they became stronger over the next three months?
Recommended TED Talk:
TEDx: What Makes a Good Life? Lessons from the Longest Study on Happiness – Robert Waldinger