Tools and Resources For Improving Your Assertiveness EQ Subscale
1. Articles
- MindTools – How to Be More Assertive
This article provides an in-depth look at what assertiveness is and includes practical tips for becoming more assertive in different contexts.
Link: How to Be More Assertive – MindTools - Verywell Mind – The Importance of Assertiveness in the Workplace
Focuses on assertiveness at work and how it impacts career success and mental well-being. Includes a podcast.
2. Books
- “The Assertiveness Workbook” by Randy J. Paterson
A comprehensive guide with practical exercises to help you build assertiveness skills in everyday situations.
Link: The Assertiveness Workbook – Amazon - “Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High” by Kerry Patterson
This book focuses on handling difficult conversations assertively and effectively when emotions run high.
Link: Crucial Conversations – Amazon
3. Podcasts
- The Assertive Way Podcast by Ivna Curi
This podcast provides real-life advice on how to become more assertive in different scenarios, such as at work, in relationships, and in difficult conversations.
Link: The Assertive Way Podcast - The Confidence Podcast by Trish Blackwell
While focused on confidence, this podcast covers assertiveness in communication and how to set boundaries while maintaining relationships.
Link: The Confidence Podcast
4. TED Talks
- “How to Speak Up for Yourself” by Adam Galinsky
This talk explores how to find the right balance of assertiveness in different situations and gives advice on how to speak up confidently.
Link: How to Speak Up for Yourself – TED
5. YouTube Videos
- The Body Language of Confidence – YouTube
Here are 10 ways to respectfully say no or challenge a work request that you can’t meet
1. Politely Decline and Offer a Reason
- Example: “I appreciate you thinking of me for this, but my current workload is quite heavy, and I wouldn’t be able to give this the attention it deserves.”
- Why it works: This response acknowledges the request but explains that your capacity is limited.
2. Express Gratitude and Offer an Alternative Solution
- Example: “Thank you for asking. I’m currently focused on finishing [X project], but perhaps [colleague’s name] could assist you with this task.”
- Why it works: You express gratitude while still protecting your time and offering a helpful alternative.
3. Ask for Prioritization Guidance
- Example: “I’m happy to help, but I’m currently working on [current task]. Would you prefer I prioritize this new request instead?”
- Why it works: This shows willingness to help but asks the manager to clarify priorities, which often leads to them reconsidering the request.
4. Offer to Help at a Later Time
- Example: “I’d love to assist, but I’m tied up with [X] at the moment. Can we revisit this next week?”
- Why it works: This response defers the task, showing you’re open to helping when your schedule allows.
5. Propose a Compromise
- Example: “I won’t be able to take on the entire project, but I can help by [offering a smaller contribution or doing a specific part].”
- Why it works: It offers a middle ground, demonstrating that you are still willing to contribute in some capacity.
6. Be Direct, Yet Polite
- Example: “Unfortunately, I won’t be able to take this on at the moment due to other commitments.”
- Why it works: This is a simple, direct, and respectful way to decline without getting into too many details.
7. Reference Previous Commitments
- Example: “I’m committed to finishing [specific project] by [deadline], so I won’t have the bandwidth to assist with this task right now.”
- Why it works: This emphasizes that you have existing priorities that require your full attention.
8. Offer to Provide Resources Instead
- Example: “I’m not available to take this on, but I’d be happy to share some resources or guide you on how to approach it.”
- Why it works: It shows a willingness to support the task indirectly, maintaining a helpful attitude while protecting your workload.
9. Suggest a Discussion About Workload
- Example: “I’d be happy to discuss my current priorities to see if we can adjust anything, but as it stands, I won’t be able to take this on.”
- Why it works: This response invites a conversation, which could lead to a more balanced distribution of work.
10. Politely Decline Due to Lack of Expertise or Capacity
- Example: “I don’t think I’m the best person for this project, as it falls outside my area of expertise. Perhaps [another colleague] could assist, or I could help you find the right person.”
- Why it works: You express a legitimate reason for not taking on the task and offer help in finding a suitable alternative.